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 Rate Your Otakuness!
by
Adam "OMEGA" Arnold and Steve Diabo (Kaneda)
Every otaku has at least every
other kind of otaku manifested in each of their friends. These
characteristics may be easy to spot in others, but not in oneself.
Friends, this survey will help you to determine if you are prone
to one type of categorical Otaku type over another.
For your information, here are 6
general types of otaku:
First of all, there's the Shoujo
Otaku. You know the type. Owns several Takeuchi
and CLAMP artbooks. Has seen Sailormoon S, Super
S and Stars. Cosplays as her favorite sailor senshi
and memorizes whole episodes at a time. Shoujo Otaku hang out
together, sign petitions to get more episodes of Sailormoon
translated and aired domestically, and make great friends.
Then comes the Shonen
Otaku. He's the type who enjoys fighting / combat /
ninja anime, such as Dragon Ball, Street Fighter
and Ninja Scroll. Tries to practice the moves on
unsuspecting bystanders and is forever trying to impress the
ladies. These types tend to stick together because nobody really
understands their devotion to their cause.
Video Game Otaku
follow next. Though most only dabble in anime or manga in between
RPGs, they know every combo, special attack and life story of the
characters in the games they play. They live and breath gaming by
formatting their lives around their quest to beat the latest game.
They often cross paths with Shonen Otaku and make good friends
with Jack-Of-All-Trades Otaku.
Then there is the curious Self-Saturating
Turning-Japanese Conversionist Otaku, who not only
enjoys all anime and manga, but goes well out of his or her way
to obtain import manga and anime from Japan, listens to j-pop,
watches other Japanese TV shows, eats Japanese food, etc. etc.,
and pretty soon lives in their own little Japan... until they
pack up and move to the real one. Along with Jack-Of-All-Trades
Otaku, they help lobby to bring anime and manga to the mainstream.
Hentai Otaku are
by far the most notorious. Among other "exotic"
contingencies, they get off on hardcore animated nudity and
lolita situations, any and all of which may feature raping
tentacles. Fortunately for the rest of us, they keep to
themselves with their hobby and, for the most part, do not bother
other people. Depending on the severity of their "devotion,"
they may or may not be good friends with Jack-Of-All-Trades Otaku
and Self-Saturating Turning-Japanese Conversionist Otaku.
Finally, there's the Jack-Of-All-Trades
Otaku. These guys could also be considered "hobbyist
otaku" who develop very liberal tastes and see anime for
their critical worth and not just because they're cool. They make
great friends with Shoujo Otaku and Self-Saturating Turning-Japanese
Conversionist Otaku, can find Shonen Otaku a little annoying (and
abundant) at times, and enjoy telling people about their hobby
and about the joys of Anime.
The following Otakuness Survey
has been carefully compiled by our Otaku-profiling experts (all
two of them!) to determine the probability of basic-level
Otakuness. A positive match is calculated with a 5% margin of
error. It's also fun to do!
DIRECTIONS:
To take the Otakuness Survey, take a blank piece of paper and a
pencil, and write, along the top edge, from left to right:
A B C D E F
Then proceed to answer the
questions. Every time you answer, leave a mark below the
corresponding letter. (ex: If you answer B to the first question,
leave a mark below B. Then if you answer C to the next question,
leave another mark below C.) You may mark any and all answers that apply to you in a given question, or skip a question if none of the answers apply to you. Enjoy!
1.
What does your room look like?
A.) "Let's just say people see my room and ask where my
little sister is."
B.) "I've got a few posters up and some other stuff. But, I
swear it's a normal room."
C.) "It's a normal room for the most part, but I have games
and systems everywhere and I've got a killer sound system set-up."
D.) "A gargantuan (and very impressive) network of TVs and
VCRs, a ventilation system to keep air circulating, tons of
movies and CDs all over the place, and I've got an entire closet
full of priority mail bubble envelopes."
E.) "It's dark and the TV and VCR are on the floor so I can
get the full picture."
F.) "I have shelves full of action figures and video tapes,
and my book cases are loaded with volumes of manga and magazines."
2.
Mecha Anime...
A.) "is full of violence which I have to hide my eyes
from."
B.) "is the best form of anime ever created!"
C.) "sports some killer games."
D.) "has the best merchandise to import."
E.) "is not any good without tentacles."
F.) "is a classic genre that has endured for many years."
3. Are
you fluent in the Japanese language?
A.) "No, but I'm taking it in school so I can learn."
B.) "Not really, but I do yell 'baka' in traffic and answer
the phone 'Moshi, Moshi.'"
C.) "I wish I was so I could actually get through this RPG I
have."
D.) "Are you kidding? I translate and time my own fansubs."
E.) "To tell you the truth, you can CALL it a written
language, but I wish the squiggles didn't cover up the pictures
so much..."
F.) "A little, but I'm trying to learn more so I can read
web pages and converse with people better. I do have a Japanese
font so Japanese web pages don't load up COMPLETE gibberish..."
4. You
think Hentai...
A.) "is perverted, condescending, sexist, etc."
B.) "has nothing that I haven't seen before in other shows to a
lesser degree."
C.) "is a waste of time due to the progression of technological
advances."
D.) "is not worth importing."
E.) "is the greatest thing in the world since I can't get the real
thing."
F.) "has a good story and intriguing characters, but I believe the
sex could've been left out."
5. What
is your opinion of Sailor Fuku (sailor suits such as the ones the
Sailor Senshi/Sailor Scouts wear)?
A.) "It makes the girls look really cool and they get a
cute guy!"
B.) "Girls who wear Sailor Fuku look really hot, but I don't
watch shows like that..."
C.) "It seems like an unspoken rule that characters who wear
Sailor Fuku can really kick butt in video games."
D.) "Shows which feature Sailor Fuku generally have some of
the best seiyuu and soundtracks in the business."
E.) "Sailor Fuku... [drool]"
F.) "In Shojo anime and manga, characters who wear Sailor
Fuku generally make a spectacular assualt against an evil entity
at the end of the season, then end up facing a completely
different evil entity the next."
6.
What type of J-Pop do you enjoy listening to?
A.) "I love music from the SeraMyu albums and some
Hayashibara."
B.) "What are you talking about? The only music I know is
the background tunes for the fighting sequences."
C.) "Must... play video game music..."
D.) "So it's j-pop you want? I can get you anything you
want, just name it."
E.) "Anything with a slow beat to get me in the mood..."
F.) "I'm not picky, I'll listen to pretty much anything.
But, I do like soundtracks the most."
7.
Which is the real Tenchi-Muyo! reality?
A.) "Magical Project S (Pretty Sammy TV) because it's
like Sailor Moon and Ryo-Ohki is sooo cute."
B.) "Tenchi Universe (Tenchi-Muyo! TV) because it has the
best ending and the most action."
C.) "The Tenchi-Muyo! RPG is the best of them all, because
it gives you some control over the reality!"
D.) "The manga is the only way to truly experience Tenchi.
Now shut up."
E.) "Ryoko has nipples in the second OVA series..."
F.) "I'm not really partial to any of the series, I just
don't like Shin Tenchi-Muyo! (Tenchi In Tokyo) as much as the
other Tenchi series."
8.
Do you know what Bug Bug is?
A.) "A bug? Ekkk! Kill it, kill it!"
B.) "What the?!"
C.) "Is it some kind of video game like Chu-Chu Rocket?"
D.) "'Course I do... I can read Japanese, remember? It's a
magazine that reviews and previews hentai video games. Doesn't
really interest me."
E.) "Yeah, I like the review of the game Parts on page 126
of Vol. 66, Issue #2."
F.) "I picked up an issue by mistake... It's not mine,
honest! Someone's pulled a prank on me!"
9.
What is your opinion of Pokémon?
A.) "I love it! I love Pikachu the best and I know the
Pokérap by heart. Want to hear it?"
B.) "I like the CCG and the manga is pretty cool."
C.) "It is the spawn of Satan himself! MAKE IT GO AWAY!!"
D.) "I'm sick of the series, but I've got nothing against it."
E.) "Why would I watch that kiddie show, when I can watch La
Blue Girl? Though... Misty is pretty hot..."
F.) "It is the launching pad for millions of people to delve
deeper into the world of anime. We should be thankful for what
Pokémon has done for the promotion of mainstream anime, but
admittedly, the Pokémon craze did go overboard."
10.
You think DUBBED anime is...
A.) "Great! I love the voice actors from Sailor Moon
the best!"
B.) "Ok. I just wish they used the original voice actors
from the first two seasons of DragonBall Z to dub the new
episodes."
C.) "Bad, just like most of the dubbed video games out there."
D.) "Always bad and should be rated on a scale of 1-10, with
decimal places used for severity."
E.) "Hot, I like the moaning... "
F.) "Good, because there are both good and bad dubs, Battle
Skipper being one of the worst. But, when compared to the
original Japanese, they both have their flaws."
11.
You think SUBTITLED anime is...
A.) "Great! I love seeing Sailor Moon before it was
edited."
B.) "Ok... I don't really like to read much."
C.) "Bad, because half the time it is not a professional or
true translation."
D.) "The only way to watch anime besides seeing it raw!
Long live subs!"
E.) "Hot, I like the high-pitched moaning..."
F.) "Good, depending on the colors and fonts used in subs,
as well as the timing. those are factors that can mean a bad sub."
12.
Have you ever created a fanzine, e-zine, or dojinshi?
A.) "Yes, I have a network of friends who I mail cool
info and pictures to."
B.) "No, but I'm on so many mailing lists and newsgroups
that I don't need to."
C.) "I'm too busy playing video games to worry about things
like that."
D.) "No, but my fansub network created a web site so we can
distribute our works."
E.) "Yeah, I made a dojinshi once. But my lawyers won't let
me talk about it due to my portrayal of Ash's true feelings for
Misty and Pikachu..."
F.) "Yes. In fact, I co-created an e-zine so I could use it
to better express my views to millions of otaku."
13.
Your computer's desktop wallpaper features...
A.) "CLAMP, or Sailor Moon, or Utena, or..."
B.) "Goku, and Gohan, and Vegeta, and Bulma, and Trunks, and..."
C.) "Rinoa! / Tifa! / Aya! / Yuffie! / Quistis! / Selphie! /
and..."
D.) "Don't bother asking, you haven't heard of the anime."
E.) "Well, let's just say the prevalent hue is flesh tone.
heheh... mmm..."
F.) "Can't tell. Too many icons. Too lazy to sort."
14.
What do you think of fansubs?
A.) "I wish they didn't have to stop doing a series if
an official release is scheduled."
B.) "They are great! But, the labels that come on a fansub
are not good enough and I have to make my own."
C.) "I'd prefer a translation for a video game more."
D.) "I custom spool my own tapes and on occasion download
scripts from the net and resub something myself because the
timing was a little off."
E.) "None of my favorite anime shows are ever fansubbed."
F.) "They help promote anime that might never make it to
other countries."
15.
I leave the house...
A.) "because I must go... Shopping!"
B.) "for blood..."
C.) "if I break my leg and have to go to the hospital."
D.) "because I have to buy more tapes and ship packages all
over the world."
E.) "Never... I can't leave... people might stare at me..."
F.) "to go to work, to support my habit. I have a life after
all."
16.
When I get mad, I...
A.) "ask myself, 'What would Sailor Moon say?'"
B.) "practice sword fighting."
C.) "yell, 'TSUBABABABA!'"
D.) "send a blank tape to the customer who made me mad."
E.) "fantasize about the prom queen being pinned to the
wall, as tentacles slither around her curves and into..."
F.) "go online and rant about how crappy the latest anime I
bought was."
17.
What cools your nerves best?
A.) "Baking cookies for me and my friends, and reading
manga."
B.) "Prozac."
C.) "Using a Gameshark to help me build up my levels fast."
D.) "Sake and O-Cha help to soothe my nerves."
E.) "A nice full color magazine or computer game like Amy's
Fantasies."
F.) "Must... code web pages... before world ends... but I do
listen to j-pop in Winamp while I toil."
18.
Have you ever thought of moving to Japan?
A.) "Not really, but I'd love to go there and see the
sights."
B.) "No, but I'm planning to move to California to be closer
to the source."
C.) "A little, but just so I can get the latest games
without waiting for the American Gaming Nazis to give the
domestic release the go-ahead..."
D.) "It would make it easier for me to get the latest stuff,
wouldn't it?"
E.) "If I did I would go to Kabukichou and hang out at Soap
Land."
F.) "I'd like to visit Japan for a good month or so, but not
live there."
19.
Did you understand the ending to Neon Genesis Evangelion?
A.) "Not really. Talk about deep... but I like Misato,
Rei, and Asuka."
B.) "Sort of, I hated the TV ending, but I love the movies."
C.) "Neon Genesis Evangelion has had some of the worst video
games I've ever played. Why would I watch the series?"
D.) "No, but I got the movies the day they were released in
Japan, much to the envy of all my not-as-resourceful friends..."
E.) "Hell no, but I sure understand the Neon Genesis Evangelion: Stripping
Instrumentality Project.
That's right, Asuka... blush cutely while you take it off..."
F.) "I've watched the End of Eva movie so many times that
I'm no longer confused."
20.
If someone yelled "TSUBABABABA!" in the street, you
would...
A.) "run and hide! Sounds like that guy's about to
transform into a creature of the Negaverse!"
B.) "slaaaay him!!!! Hack! Slash! Cutting sounds! Chop!
Slice!"
C.) "grin and knowingly respond with an equally spirited
'ROCKET WA SUGOI!!!'"
D.) "stop selling him import Dreamcast games, for the
greater good of mankind..."
E.) "be too busy on the park bench engrossed in my copy of
Bug Bug to give a crap."
F.) "proceed to administer the Heimlich maneuver."
... And you're done. Wasn't that
just fantastic? Now, count up how many of each answer you scored
and the column with the most responses is the type of Otaku you
are inclined to be.
Mostly A: You are a Shoujo
Otaku. I have Utena. <wags it in front of
you...> do you waaaaaaant it?
Mostly B: Your true self, the Shonen Otaku,
is unleashed! But can you defeat Frieza? Find out next episode!
Mostly C: As if you didn't know already, you're a Video
Game Otaku. You can go back to playing Final
Fantasy Tactics now. When are you going to finish that damn game,
anyway?
Mostly D: Congratulations! You're a Self-Saturating
Turning-Japanese Conversionist Otaku. Don't
forget to put your shoes back on after leaving ANIMEfringe...
Mostly E: The lab results are in, and if I'm not mistaken, you're
a Hentai Otaku... Once you had
animated ecchi you could never go back! My condolences!
Mostly F: Why, you're a Jack-Of-All-Trades Otaku!
Shonen, Shoujo, video gaming, Anime, Manga, j-pop, j-rock, and
even pocky... you do it all!
(Special Thanks to Bill
Alexander of The Anime Kryptonite Review Page for allowing us to incorporate some of
his 'Top signs you are an Otaku' into this article.)
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